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Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

I Only Wish I Was Kidding!

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet

"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

I Only Wish I Was Kidding!

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pissed off unicorn
I just opened an envelope from UPS and my boss had a catalog in there called the "ATD American Co. Correctional Facilities and Law Enforcement Catalog." And on the back was this advert....

And I quote:

BOSS II Body Orifice Security Scanner
Your key to establishing "Reasonable Suspicion"!

BOSS II makes prisons safer than ever for inmates and staff. Protects against lawsuit liabilities by establishing "reasonable suspicion" prior to conducting strip searches.

The thing looks like a big chair. There is a labeled diagram with the following labels:
-foot sensor
-anal/vaginal sensor
-oral/nasal sensor

Am I alone in thinking that I would not want to sit on this thing?! Who knows what might pop out! Ai!!!


Here's a picture of some poor sap sitting on the thing:

I guess it's better than the alternative, though, eh?
  • Hey, I'd rather sit on that than go through a strip search, especially considering everything I learned about maximum security units at my old job.
    • Yeah, me too. It just struck me as really funny. Who comes up with these things? Imagine explaining at a party that you can live the life of leisure because you made up the body orifice scanner....

      Maybe its inventor had been through a strip search and so had a vested interest. Ai....
  • So I guess my initial impression of "that dude looks constipated" wasn't far off...o.O
    • Yeah, I really don't want to know why he looks that way....

      Hubby and I both agree that the best way to stop people from using cocaine is to show "mules" in jail "expelling" the cocaine pellets. Then people sniff that up their noses. Ewww....
  • Body Orifice Scanner

    Now I think I've seen everything!!
    • Re: Body Orifice Scanner

      Looking at it again, it kind of looks like an electric chair.

      My job is, at times, interesting for very odd reasons!
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