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Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

Random Fannish Meanderings

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet

"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

Random Fannish Meanderings

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death of an idea
I have had a busy, busy day so far today, rearranging my closet and moving my stuff from the drawers in the bedroom into the new furniture in the guest room. I have also banished my sentimentality (almost*) and donated a bunch of old clothes and shoes to Goodwill. Some of these I have had since high school. Most of it I haven't worn in years, but because I tend to buy only things that I really really love, then I get attached to things.

I kept one shirt and one dress that I can't bear to part with.

As a result I wasn't on the computer much today, but when I did pop in, someone over at ff.net had followed and favorited and poured the whole bucket of ff.net accolades on me and AMC ... except to comment on the story. :^| To be fair, maybe she or he hasn't read the whole thing yet and wants to wait till the end. (In which case, she or he might regret all those follows and favorites, as I once had a person on ff.net give all kinds of adorations to the early chapters of AMC only to eventually comment that she or he wasn't reading it anymore because the characters pee too much. They probably do! But the story was written in a different era of fandom, and that was rebellious then, to have your Elves pee in a story, back when people used to debate with straight faces whether Elves experienced pain during childbirth, farted, or sweated ... or whether Maedhros needed to eat on Thangorodrim or Elves had pink blood or the other crazy shit being bandied about in those days.) But it's always interesting to me, too, when people follow a work that is not only completed but has been completed for years. I'm not sure what that's supposed to prove? What's to follow, as the story is complete and therefore no longer being updated? Is it an oversight? A compliment? Am I reading too much into this?

Every few months or so, I search my pen name and the SWG's name on Google because it's always best to know what's being said (or brewing drama) before getting blindsided by it. (I've never found anything negative about the SWG, but there was an "I Hate Dawn Felagund" forum on ff.net for a while!) During my most recent search, I discovered that there was a debate concerning me and AMC on Tumblr. Apparently, someone recced AMC, and someone replied with a "counter-rec" (or something like that), in which nasty remarks were made about the story. I believe the "counter-rec" post was deleted--at least, I could never find it--but the conversation in reblogs of the original rec led me to believe that they were not critical remarks about the story but nasty, uncivil remarks. Critical I can do! In fact, I doubt anyone can, at this point, tell me anything about AMC that I haven't been personally mortified over already. I sometimes worry that the story has been so thoroughly labeled a "classic" that people feel they have to like it or can't criticize it, when the truth is that there are a lot of things in terms of interpretation and writing that could be done much better.

Anyway, it was ... weird. It was weird to have my work so intensely discussed without my knowledge, and it was weird to see people come to the defense of the story and friends come to my defense personally about the uncivil remarks. (I was grateful to those who did. You know who you are!) People have, of course, said nasty and inappropriate things to and about me and my work before--there was a hate forum dedicated to me, after all, and for all I know, there still is! (it doesn't show up in the Google results anymore and I don't delve any deeper into ff.net than I have to)--and I've had my share of tangles with the cretins on ff.net, but this was a first.

Speaking of firsts, I also posted a full-length work for the first time on Tumblr. Well, it was a poem. (This poem!) I usually post just links to my work there because I'm not very comfortable with the idea of reblogging and having my work drift so far out of my control that I can't edit or delete it later if I want to. But it occurred to me the other day that when I reblog things that have a "Read more" jump, then only the link reblogs and not the content under the link. Am I missing something here? So reblogging only reblogs the "Read more" link and I can still edit the original (to which that link points) to my heart's content? Tumblr is not my favorite format for a variety of reasons (but then there are things that I really do like about it), but as I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of grad school, I'm thinking about a life again with room for things like writing and blogging on that dust-filled tomb called the Heretic Loremaster and researching things that I want to research and write about, and a heavy fannish presence on Tumblr is the reality right now, so I'd rather figure things out now, when I don't have much to say, then to be staggering around like an idiot when I am writing stuff worth sharing and missing out on opportunities. Or something like that.

This post was originally posted on Dreamwidth and, using my Felagundish Elf magic, crossposted to LiveJournal. You can comment here or there!

  • Apparently, someone recced AMC, and someone replied with a "countecomr-rec" (or something like that), in which nasty remarks were made about the story. I believe the "counter-rec" post was deleted--at least, I could never find it--but the conversation in reblogs of the original rec led me to believe that they were not critical remarks about the story but nasty, uncivil remarks.

    I am sorry, but I would really like to know what these things said. Do you have a link? I know that I have posted recs for AMC there, at least once maybe more than once.

    I promise not to misbehave or start a wank if you want to let it die a quiet death.

    But I already feel vaguely uncomfortable there with everyone and I would rather have a better idea of the lay of the land and who likes what, etc., etc. and what sets people off.

    I am meeting more and more people I like there slowly, but still it feels like walking alone through a bad neighborhood at night and hearing footsteps behind you and turning around and no one is there. I am not generally a troublemaker or a coward, but I have not worked out my Tumblr game yet. Who can I trust and who is just mean-spirited and spoiling-for-a-fight? I have co-existed in fandom for years with people of different tastes and world views. I prefer agreeing to disagree to wank or ignoring people. But I would like to avoid the spoiling-for-a-fight types. There are a lot of hypersensitive ones who face a hard cold world without any filter or skin to protect them and then often turn mean at the drop of a hat. Some are very, very young also and fragile.
    • I'll see if I can find it again and I'll email you. Although I thought you were one of the people who was involved! Maybe I'm misremembering. It was several weeks ago that I found it. The person who made the remarks was no one I knew.

      I have not worked out my Tumblr game yet.

      Me neither, but I barely post there. (However, I expect I'll have to increase my presence when I start in earnest on getting the HL restarted.) I mostly link to stuff posted elsewhere. I haven't had any problems with anyone. Yet. I'm sure that will change once I'm there more. I have noticed a combination of the nasty canaticism that I associate with ff.net and the thin-skinnedness that is fandom in general.

      I have neither. I have no problem with people hating my work or even hating me. I feel like I'm in my "fuckit" phase. The discussion over AMC would have bothered me once. Now, it was just strange to see my work being discussed so heatedly and by people I know and talk to regularly and not even knowing it, had I not done that Google search. It's just weird to realize that people are talking about you--and getting to listen in! :D
    • (no subject) - dawn_felagund - Expand
    • (no subject) - heartofoshun - Expand
  • I've not been on FFN in forever, but I recall that they used to have limits on the numbers of favs a person could have, but not follows. I used to be in the habit of giving both follows and favs, even to completed stories, so that if I had to remove a story from my favs - in order to make room for some other one - it would still be in the follows. I'm not sure how many other people did that, though.

    I will never understand why people feel the need to post uncivil remarks in public places! It annoys me, no matter what it's about or if they agree with me. -_- I get discussing your stories and the fanon that's sprung up from them, just like any other fanon, or criticizing aspects (though even that's borderline for me), but anything more is just "Did your mother never teach you anything?!"

    Tumblr and I do not get along for the most part. It's too far on the blame and criticism spectrum for me - I'll willfully admit that I'm a moral and cultural relativist and I end up feeling sick at times from the expectations that seem to happen! On the other hand, I saw you mention to Oshun that you plan to get HL up and running again. I'm not sure if anything I could write would be of interest (labeling theory and the Fëanorians?), but I'm always available over the summers (and sometimes during the school year! It just depends on if I'm tutoring or TAing).
    • they used to have limits on the numbers of favs a person could have, but not follows.

      That makes sense. I don't know if those limits still apply. I generally pop onto the profile of anyone who favorites a story of mine, just out of curiosity, and I found someone once who had over 1,000 favorites! (It seems rather silly to limit favorites, but FFN isn't the most sensible place on the planet ...)

      I will never understand why people feel the need to post uncivil remarks in public places!

      The funny thing is that a remark like that made about AMC did not make that person look good at all. (I'm biased, of course!) I certainly do think the story is open to criticism. I sometimes wish people would be more critical of it because it is flawed in a lot of ways, and I don't want it to be something people can't bring up and talk about because it's a "classic" in the Silm fandom. But. A remark about a story that goes for provocation without ever articulating any criticism against the piece? When, whether you agree with my interpretations or not, does engage deeply with the source texts? Does not reflect well on that person, imo.

      I'm not sure if anything I could write would be of interest

      OMG yes it would. Anytime you want to write for the HL, consider this an open invitation! You could either do a guest post/posts, or I could set up an account for you there and you could post freely whenever you wanted.

      I am not going to be doing much in the way of promoting the blog until around this time next year, once my thesis is done. But I am hoping to center much more of my fannish activity there (and reach out more on sites like Tumblr and LJ). So if you want to wait for the grand relaunch, I do not blame you! :) But the site is there for you to use whenever you want.
  • It's always a little startling to find oneself being discussed by perfect strangers, and unpleasantly so when it turns out that they've been nasty. ((hugs))

    I am a dinosaur. I neither Tweet nor Tumble. I keep telling myself that when I get caught up on all my WIPs and all my mod duties and several projects I have going at home, I might give them a try.

    In other words, "On Friday the first of Summerfilth".
    • I'm smiling because I'm not particularly dinosaurish and am rather tech-savvy, and I've never tweeted! :D There is no way I can keep to 400 characters (or whatever it is that's allowed).

      Tumblr I like for something things and not so much for others. I like how easy it is to potentially reach people outside your usual circle; I've had posts reblogged and liked by hundreds of people I don't know. That's cool when it happens! It's less good for discussions, and that is really what motivates me in fandom, so it feels rather like shouting down a well to me than engaging with a community, the way that LJ or even an archive feel. It's also very fast-paced and chaotic.

      I much prefer LJ/DW, but there is a lot of fannish activity there, so ... :^/
  • How strange! I recently saw an AMC rec, but missed the drama. But from what Elleth said, it sounds like it was before I was on Tumblr, so guess that's why.

    I still haven't figured out Tumblr. Sure, I can post or reblog things with reasonable aptitude, but as far as actually communicating with people? Nope.
  • "...but there was an "I Hate Dawn Felagund" forum on ff.net for a while!"

    0.O Holy shit. That's a fairly high compliment, I would say! (Although a bit unsettling and possibly threatening, to be practical...)
    • I took it as a compliment. It was created in response to a certain amount of drama going on between me and some of the bullies on that site. What better proof that I got under their skin! There was only ever one post in it, as far as I know. (Now there are none!) It's one of those things that I can't help but feel is an all-around embarrassment to the person who created it.
  • "but there was an "I Hate Dawn Felagund" forum on ff.net for a while!"

    Holy moly. I'm very sorry. I can't understand why someone would make something like that.

    Well, I should say you have way more people who love you than who hate you, so ignore the latter. :)

    • I love your icon! *is huge Peanuts fan* :)

      I took the forum as a compliment. (I just checked. It still exists.) It was created in response to a conflict between me and some of the bullies on the site, and what better proof that my standing up to them had the intended uncomfortable effect? :D Furthermore, the echoing silence there is kind of telling (and, I can't help but think, a rather embarrassing reflection on the creator, who probably expected flocks of people eager for an outlet to gripe about me. Oops.)

      *hugs* and thank you for your kind words. :)
  • I've had people follow my years-old one-shots - I'm talking, like, 300-word ficlets which were clearly marked complete. Eh, FFN. I love the place (well, my fandoms in the place), but it baffles me sometimes. :P

    Unfortunately there's always going to be hate when you write a fic like AMC. A few people will adore it, most people'll be indifferent and some will troll just to troll.

    Call me old-fashioned, but I don't Tumblr, and not just because of the SWJs, drive-by fundraisers, and the way it sucks up your time. I just miss all the LJ and DW, and although tumblr is great for fanart and social justice it's not so good for discussion. I'm very lucky that one of my two major fandoms has a forum dedicated to it. The other one, unfortunately, is mainly on Tumblr. :(
    • I'm not a huge fan of Tumblr for fandom either, so I don't think you're old-fashioned! :D I like interaction in fandom, and Tumblr is not conducive to discussions and seems to inspire a lot of vitriol. LJ and DW feel like being in someone's living room to me: If you see a comment on a friend's entry by someone you don't know, it is reasonable to assume that that person is "okay" because they are a friend of a friend. I think it tends to encourage people to be at least civil in disagreeing. (Besides that most people don't want to cause a scene in someone else's space.) But Tumblr? Things get posted so far and so fast that I think the tendency becomes not to think of people as people but as viewpoints or opinions to be shot down. It's not a good look, imo.

      What I do like ... that things can spread so far so fast. It's nice to reach people outside my usual circle, but the interaction is fleeting and shallow. I don't feel like I get to know people like I do here on LJ.
  • Ah the joys of being the Silm fandom's BFN or BNF haha :D

    Yeah that comes along with it though, but people got your back :)

    I actually never noticed our counted how often your elves pee in AMC and of course it isn't fully perfect, but a wonderful journey in a story and to see a writer grow as well. My fondest memories are the waiting, you posting it, we commenting and bantering along. No 'It’s first-class sporkage fodder if your brain has a high tolerance for all the bleach you’ll need.' You're referring to that one right? The original post was easy to find. Let such folks twattle, it will keep them off the streets.
    • Pie-eyed optimist that I am, the fact that I find so many faults with AMC is, to me, a good thing. It's almost ten years old. If something I wrote a decade ago was still something I regarded as my best work, then that would not speak much to my growth as a writer. I always hope that I will never stop finding fault with my older works, even though it is a bit mortifying at times. ;)

      And that story was hugely life-changing for me. It allowed me to meet so many people whom I care about and remain friends with even today. *looking at you* ;) And it helped me find my path toward the work I am doing today, in and out of fandom.

      You're referring to that one right?

      Yep, that's the post. (I did eventually find it.) It speaks to that person, I think, that s/he couldn't say anything thoughtfully critical but went straight for being provocational. Although I don't personally feel that another person's fic rec is an appropriate place to gripe about that story, a thoughtful critique of the story would have been wholly different, imo. Whether the person liked the story or agrees with my interpretation or not, I don't think that anyone can deny that a lot of thought went into it, so if that's all s/he has to say? That's on her, not me.
  • "there was an "I Hate Dawn Felagund" forum on ff.net for a while!) "


    I can't decide if that makes me feel furious, or makes me feel like you've just won the internet. ;)
    • Okay, your comment made me go search to see if it actually still exists! It does! Although the lack of threads is ... telling.

      There used to be a couple of threads. Someone was like, "Dawn is a pompous asshole!" (not the exact words but it was something similarly stupid) and someone (Jael I think) popped in to note the similarities between that person's spelling mistakes and that of another FFN troll, so I guess the thread was disappeared after that.

      I took it as a compliment when I first found it. It was created in response to me standing up to certain bullies on that site, so what better proof that I got under their skin? Mission accomplished. :)
  • I remember wondering at the time if you'd seen the rec and the resultant "conversation". Guess I have my answer!

    I've gotten similar things on ff.net and more recently on AO3. I just don't get it. The only explanation I heard that made any sense is that follows are private, so they hide guilty pleasures.
    • Yep, I found it almost exactly a year after it went down! And on Google, not even by searching Tumblr specifically.

      The guilty pleasures theory is a good one! :)
  • The same person as now this?

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