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Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

Okay, I'm Going to ... (9/11 Tenth Anniversary)

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet




"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

Okay, I'm Going to ... (9/11 Tenth Anniversary)

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american peace
All day, I've known that I should write this post, but I didn't want to. I knew I should because I want this journal to represent my life and times, so to speak, and how could I just ignore a day like today?

I honestly find myself without much to say today. I've already written about what 9/11 was like for me, and how personal and world events entwined on that day and became a personal turning point for me, as well as a political one for the nation and world. The sting has lessened a lot, but it is still a painful memory for me, and I can still cry readily if I think about it too much.

For me, the last 10 years have seen a shift in how I regarded 9/11. When it happened, of course, it was very raw and painful. As the post above attests, it at once plunged me deeper into an already existing depressive episode while also turning my awareness outward and providing the means by which I saved myself, after many long months at rock bottom. Then I went through the same phase as much of the country in allowing 9/11 to inspire solidarity and hope. I wore my sparkly American flag necklace (I found it the other day), and I even supported Bush II for a while, believe it or not. (Never voted for him but was willing to stand behind him, trusting that he must surely feel the same that I felt and that his decisions would, therefore, be decisions I would support. I was quickly disabused of that idea.) As the post above shows, I then went through an angry period where I felt like the memories of 9/11 were being misused, but I felt like there was still a chance to turn the ship, so to speak, making anger a fruitful emotion. If only enough people could be convinced to raise their voices ... That was five years ago. Today? My anger remains but has cooled to bitterness and apathy. The ship ain't turning; I realize that now. I hurt for the people who lost their lives; I hurt more for their friends and loved ones, who have seen their names used to justify atrocities and to pay lip service to "being American." I still cry at the images and the memories, but I hardly expect the rest of the world to feel sorry for us today's anniversary.

That's really all I have to say today.



This post was originally posted on Dreamwidth and, using my Felagundish Elf magic, crossposted to LiveJournal. You can comment here or there!

http://dawn-felagund.dreamwidth.org/279340.html
  • *Hugs you*

    I had a post all ready to go but then I put it away. I guess I am a big chicken. And on pain meds...

    But I talked about the stupidity of bringing this up over and over again. And then I gave some statistics:

    # of Sept. 11 deaths: 2,974
    # of U.S. military deaths since Sept. 11: 5,697
    # of Iraq & Afghanistan civilian deaths since Sept. 11: 1,035,587

    • Yes. Exactly.

      I suppose I'm still angry (and a little ashamed of myself) for buying whole-hog into the post-9/11 solidarity-patriot thing. I feel like that was taken advantage of to allow those deaths to compound the way your stats show.

      I just read about your painful-sounding dental surgery ... yikes! Hope you feel better soon! *hugs*
      • I think it was all pretty understandable the first year after it happened. It had been a shock - the direct violence of terrorism is seldom seen on U.S. soil. But I also remember thinking, oh god, what now...?

        I have an infection so it's slow healing. I spent most of the weekend on pain killers with ice on my face. I'm completely pathetic.

        Thanks, sweetie!
  • Thank you. I'm not American so I won't express an opinion, not today of all days, but your posts are proof of how much better/safer/saner the world would be if people just stopped and thought things through! The statistics Nienna quoted above speak for themselves - the world is showing no signs of becoming a safer place for anyone.



    Edited at 2011-09-12 02:56 am (UTC)
  • The rest of the world doesn't feel sorry for America, that would suggest a certain detachment, but it does feel anger, grief and pain for what happened to its citizens and perhaps what it inspired afterwards. What I'm trying to say is the world stands with America, not to take away from American grief, but to perhaps state that such a massive human tragedy hits anyone with any sense of empathy very hard. I spent quite a bit of today in tears, still trying to make sense of it after 10 long years and still failing.
  • What I do feel sorry for are innocent lives lost, and their families and friends grieving for them. It doesn't matter, for me, if the victims or Americans, or Australians, or Estonians or whoever. What makes me sad is that so many people died, and why? Because of fanatics.
    I cried yesterday. Because, for me, 9/11 was not (only) a crime against America, but against mankind.
  • Yes. Right on. It's okay to feel anger and sadness. But to use them the right way and try to do something positive to make this a better world is much more meaningful than turning it into hate or reaming out someone who isn't 'showing' their anger in the same way you are. And I think it could become a better world if we spent less (time, money, effort) on fighting wars and turned that energy into trying to build a better place to live. :(♥
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