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Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

15 Years!

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet

"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

15 Years!

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sally and jack
Today is Bobby's and my 15-year anniversary! A half of a lifetime together! Obviously it is not a wedding anniversary; that would put us married at ages 14 and 15. Yikes. However, we've always celebrated the anniversary of the day we got together as our anniversary. Although we have fond memories of our wedding day, it was mostly official/governmental recognition of what we'd known since we were in the 10th grade and caused a stir in our nerdy magnet program when I started wearing a ring on my left hand and we told people that we were engaged.

For our 10th anniversary, I wrote a series of 33 drabbles (f-locked) about how we met and got together. For those who haven't heard the story, it's our 15th anniversary, so I'm going to wax sentimental for a moment.

Bobby and I met when we both went to the same high school magnet program for math, science, and computer science. We were in homeroom together and had most of our classes together. We became fast friends, mostly because we shared a similar eccentric sense of humor. Going to the magnet program was a major turning point for me; it allowed me to cast off associations with the majority of people who had known me in elementary and middle schools, when years of abuse by peers gave me a reputation of being shy and also put into place some pretty strong biases against associating with me. Going to the magnet school, I had a chance to start with a clean slate.

I was hardly popular, though; I had a small group of friends that weren't of the hardcore nerds and weren't of the popular kids either. (Yes, even nerd magnet programs have popular kids--mostly jocks, go figure! That eliminated me right off.) Bobby, on the other hand, was popular. I still tell him to this day that I don't know why he had much to do with me*. Walking in the hall with him, every other person it seemed would call hello to him. I didn't recognize many of them, so I'd ask, "Who was that?"

Shrug. "I don't know."

* I recently asked him why he wanted to be my friend and, eventually, my boyfriend. He told me that he thought I was cool. And I wasn't hard on the eyes either! :D

Throughout much of 9th grade, our relationship was entirely platonic. We had a slew of inside jokes and horsed around constantly. One day in mid-May, I was sitting in homeroom with my best friend Lily, and we were typing notes back and forth to each other on our graphing calculators (it was a nerd school!!), and she typed to me, "Why don't you just admit that you're in love with Bobby?"

At first I dismissed it. I knew perfectly well that Bobby and I were just good friends! Then I had a serious holy-shit moment: Holy shit. I am in love with Bobby!

Bobby was also cool and also was not hard on the eyes. Here we are at Homecoming in the 10th grade, which would have been about four months after we started dating.


But the actually getting to the "started dating" part is the good part of the story. At least, it is looking back. At the time, it was fairly mortifying.

I was pretty precocious romantically for a magnet school kid. I'd had 1.5 boyfriends before Bobby (the 0.5 was a boy who asked me out at the end of 8th grade and I never actually went out with before he broke up with my parents' answering machine halfway through the summer). All 1.5 of my boyfriends had asked me out; I wasn't particularly interested in either but agreed because it seemed the thing to do. Neither, not surprisingly, went very far or lasted very long. Bobby, despite his popularity, hadn't had a girlfriend at all. So neither of us was particularly cool or suave in approaching the opposite sex romantically.

There was an end-of-the-year dance coming up on May 31. It was being held in the school's courtyard--which was a very cool spot for a 9th grade magnet kid--and everyone was going. It was going to be awesome.

Bobby and I had a mutual friend, Will, who Bobby went to middle school with. Since Lily had made me realize that, yes, I was in love with Bobby *insert teen-worthy hyperventilation here* I had been drawing little hearts with the number 33 inside of them. 33 was Bobby's hockey number. Well, on the day of the dance, Will spotted one and immediately knew what it was.

"You like Bob!"

He grudgingly coaxed the information out of me that, yes, I did indeed "like" Bobby. (The word like has such a different connotation when you're 14-going-on-15!) He proceeded to tell me, "You will ask him to the dance then." Of course, I refused. Someone like me didn't ask someone like Bobby to the dance. We were friends, yes, but we traveled in completely different circles, and there was no question as to who was the socially superior. Finally, Will told me, "I'm going to ask him for you, then."

"Okay," I told him, figuring it'd keep him off my back and let me once and for all forget Bobby, because I knew he'd never say yes.

I should also add that, at this point in our academic careers, Bobby had a foot out the door of the magnet program. It wasn't for him. He had started the proceedings to return to his home high school for his sophomore year.

Will did indeed ask Bobby to the dance for me. Unfortunately, he called Bobby over to my computer during computer science to do it. I was mortified! I remember pleading, "Please, Will, don't," over and over again, then just staring at my keyboard, petrified. I didn't hear what Will asked or what Bobby said. I had to ask my friend Kara, who was sitting next to me, what Bobby's answer had been.

He said yes.

But we weren't to the dance and safe in each other's arms yet, and love-shy nerds know no bounds when it comes to dreaming up ways to avoid confronting a potential mate! When we arrived at the school for the dance, Bobby was at the school door with his friends. So I did the logical thing and refused to get out of the car. Luckily, Lily bodily dragged me from the car.

Despite the fact that the dance was held in the courtyard--a confined space--we managed to not come within 20 feet of each other for the first hour of the dance. We didn't even look at each other. Finally, a slow song came on, Lily grabbed me, Will grabbed Bobby, and they dragged us together and pushed us at each other. Lily said, "She likes you, you like her, so dance." So we did, and that was beginning of the past 15 years.

Bobby never did ask me out, and I sure didn't ask him. Asking someone out, of course, meant that you were together in high school terms. The next weekend, he accompanied me on a band trip to a local theme park. We spent the summer together, including a week in Ocean City with his family. Somewhere in there, I guess we gave silent assent to the fact that we were, indeed, "going out." He never asked me to marry him, either, and I sure didn't ask him. Yet again, we sort of arrived at the conclusion that we would get married someday. So we did.

He also decided to stay at the magnet school and ended up being quite successful.

At the dance? OMG was Bobby hot! He had on a New York Yankees T-shirt and jersey open over it, a pair of jean shorts, and sandals with socks. His parents still make fun of him for that outfit--and the copious amounts of cologne he apparently nabbed from his dad--but at the time, he could do no sartorial wrong in my lovestruck eyes. Right now? I can see him out the window right now, squatting in the garden and picking strawberries. Fifteen years later, OMG, he's still hot!

This post was originally posted on Dreamwidth and, using my Felagundish Elf magic, crossposted to LiveJournal. You can comment here or there!

  • OMG! You are both adorable still, but weren't you just incredibly, heartbreakingly gorgeous teenagers! You are right about Bobby; he is definitely still hot--I could go on and on about the color of his eyes--the deepest, brightest blue ever. But you are hot too, pretty girl.
    • LOL--thank you! :D I think Bobby has improved with age. Part of that is the long hair and the beard too ... I never thought the day would come when I would enjoy a beard on a man, but it fits him. But I remember being age 15 and eating dinner with my mom in a Pizza Hut and talking about how hot Bobby was going to look in his suit for Homecoming! :D
  • Congratulations, dear! :))) *raises a glass* I love your story. :)
  • Congrats!

    Now, I am dubious about how hot anyone can be wearing a NY Yankees shirt, but... ;) ;)
  • (no subject) - satismagic
  • This is one of the most romantic posts ever. Congratulations, you two. Nerd love = awesome!
    • :D Thank you! Our nerd love gave our fellow nerds something to talk about, mull over, and avoid indulging in themselves for three years! It was pretty awesome. :)
  • What a lovely story! Happy anniversary!
  • *happy sigh* Like I already said privately: I hope you guys have a fantastic day together with your Goldens, the chickens, the fish (how is Celegorm??) and the buzzy bees. I am just too curious, what happened to Will and Lily?
    • Thanks, Rhapsy! Our evening was totally fab. :)

      Celegorm is still hanging in there! He is officially our oldest pet!

      Lily and I "broke up" as best friends the next year. I would like to say that it had to happen, but we were unfortunately manipulated by her mother into it. Her mother thought Bobby was beneath me because he came from a bad part of town. (She honestly said that much to my mom.) She wrote a letter to my parents, telling them I was behaving like a whore (her word!) at an event that Lily's and my animal rights group had attended, and that Bobby and I were "kissing and fondling in public." I'd had a cold and there were enough chairs, so I sat on his lap once instead of the cold ground. We weren't "kissing and fondling" because we hadn't even kissed for the first time yet! Lily's and my friendship crashed and burned after that.

      I later saw her mom at our After Prom Party senior year, and she acted like nothing weird had happened. Lily and I are Facebook friends now, so the past is past, but we haven't talked in person since high school. She does staging for Broadway shows, so she's really done something cool with her life that I know she loves, so I'm happy for her, even if I regret so badly that our friendship ended over the idiocy of someone else.

      Will stayed friends with Bobby and me for many years. We eventually lost touch, although we're also friends on Facebook! (What would we do without Facebook?! :) We occasionally make noises about getting together. I don't know what he's up to except that he's engaged to be married. He's one of the craziest and coolest people I've ever known so I hope we do someday. (I wrote him an apology note after Bobby and I got together since I accused him of ruining my life for asking Bobby out in front of me! Last I talked to him, he still had it! :)
  • Oh, you were SO cute! *grin* What a neat love story!
  • Aww, that's so sweet! And it sounds utterly mortifying for a pair of fourteen-year-olds. Congratulations
    • Thank you! :D

      And it sounds utterly mortifying for a pair of fourteen-year-olds.

      It was! Everything is magnified a hundredfold at that age. I can still remember what that was like, which I think helps me relate to my students and their "petty" dramas! :D
  • Oshun said..."You are both adorable still, but weren't you just incredibly, heartbreakingly gorgeous teenagers!"

    She speaks The Truth. Congratulations on a beautiful friendship and marriage!
  • Aww, Happy Anniversary! :)
  • How very cute. I agree about starting over in new schools. I moved to a different school district for Junior High (that would be grades 7-9) and all of a sudden I could reinvent myself without the baggage of the previous 13 years. It was heaven and I learned many things about myself that I still think about today, almost 45 years later.

    - Erulisse (one L)
    • It was amazing the difference it makes. It's almost like, at that age, you get locked into a particular role, and it's almost impossible to break out of it without leaving the situation entirely. I have this strong memory of being in 8th grade science class; I had a good group of girlfriends that year--writer types like me--and we were laughing and joking about something, and one of my male classmates said, "I didn't know Dawn could talk that much." Of course, it wasn't said approvingly. I had a completely different reputation--much more in line with what my personality became when I was being constantly tormented by classmates--when I started at the magnet program.
  • Congratulations! And Happy Anniversary :D
  • Happy anniversary! :D And yes, you are still a pretty couple, but - gosh - you were so lovely! :)
    • Awww ... thank you! :D I told Pandë that y'all are giving me a big head after the fact! (I thought I was hideous at that age!)
  • Awww. Mazel tov, and here's to another fifteen years!
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