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Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

I ♥ Hanover

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet

"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

I ♥ Hanover

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Bobby and I went to dinner tonight at a Mexican restaurant in Hanover, which is a town in southern Pennsylvania, about twenty minutes north of us. I seriously think Hanover might be one of the weirdest places on the planet. It's very small-townish, and there are a lot of businesses that sell rather odd combinations of items. Once, in my glee over these bizarre establishments, I cackled that Hanover is like driving through a U.S. "main street" town in a very odd alternate universe. Here's a list of the funniest and most bizarre. Keep in mind that these are all on the main street! I sometimes wonder what wonders exist as one ventures deeper into the wilds of Hanover, PA.

  • Real estate and firewood. I guess it's handy to be able to buy your new home and the wood to heat it with. Bobby has a much more cynical view, given the current economy and, especially, the real-estate market: Can't sell your house?? We'll at least give you its value if we can sell it as firewood!

  • Dad's Auto Detailing, Ebay Store, and Pawn Shop. We just noticed the addition of the pawn shop tonight. I suppose you can go and get your car cleaned, unload some old Barry Manilow LPs, and buy a gun with the serial number filed off, all at the same time.

  • Erick's Record Shop and Mexican Store. I'd imagine this is handy if you want to pick up the new Fifty Cent CD and also have a hankering for a burrito.

  • The Hanover Spice Company. In need of a bottle of fennel, a dozen vanilla beans, or jar of fresh-ground cumin? Think this is the place to go in downtown Hanover for such items? Wrong! However, if you need a naughty DVD or crotchless, edible panties, you're in luck!

  • Close-out Store: Furniture, Clothing, Office Supplies, and Groceries. I'm not sure I'd want to buy close-out groceries. Bobby's grandmother buys food items from such a store. One time, knowing that we liked cold coffee beverages, she bought us each one of those bottled Starbucks frappucinos. Bobby and I were drinking them, and we both looked at each other and said, "Do these seem weird to you?" They were ... chunky. There was chunks of dairy product in them. We flipped over the bottles and discovered that the sell-by date was two years past!

  • The Funniest! Andrew Crooks, Certified Public Accountant. I'm sure this guy is a marvelous CPA. However, there's just something bad-sitcom-funny about having your taxes done by a guy whose name is Crooks.

  • The Grossest! Hot and Crusty Italian and Mexican Fusion Grill. I don't even want to imagine what "Italian and Mexican fusion" consists of. Nachos made with ground Italian sausage and ricotta cheese? Pepperoni burritos served with a side of mushroom-jalapeño risotto? Lasagna layered with molé sauce and salsa verde? As though that doesn't sound gross enough, "hot and crusty"? Really?? I remarked to Bobby that it sounds more like the slogan for a wound treatment center than a restaurant. "If it's hot and crusty, come see us!" Nor--having worked in a restaurant for six years--does the word "crusty" make me hungry. It makes me think more of a deep fryer in bad need of cleaning, or some of our experiments with leaving food under the heat lamp all night to see what would happen.

  • The Most Bizarre! Candynut Shoppe: Chocolates, Nuts, and Electric Shaver Parts. I'm really not even sure what to say about this one. I ... No, I really don't know what to say about this one.

    Except that it's very close to Hot and Crusty!

I ♥ Hanover!
  • I love those! There is a storefront carpenter/craftsman in my neighborhood, who specializes in booking bus tours to Atlantic City. I don't recall that he even has a sign. Just handmade furniture and bus schedules for Atlantic City in the front window. I've seen tour buses parked in front before though. He puts leftover random pieces of wood in cardboard boxes in front occasionally with a handlettered sign saying "Free. Help yourself."
  • The Hanover Spice Company did me in but good. Followed up by paroxysms of laughter at the Candynut Shoppe. Hot and Crusty sounds like the symptoms of an especially nasty venereal disease.
    • Okay, I thought my version of Hot and Crusty was gross but you outdid me here! :D And, apparently, you are brainsharing with surgicalsteel, who said the same.

      Also your icon belongs in Hanover, PA: It is very funny and yet disturbing at the same time!
  • Is the Candynut Shoppe right beside the Spice Company? Sounds like a place I'd like to visit someday. ;-)
    • They're fairly far apart, in Hanover terms anyway: a couple of miles, probably. Goodness, the combination of candy, nuts, naughty lingerie, and electric shaver parts makes my brain want to combust! :D
  • Real estate and firewood? Very random.
    And what are close-out stores? Like outlets that sell goods which are (mostly) perfectly edible but have faulty packaging (Sara Lee, for instance - although idk if Sara Lee outlets exist in the US)?
    • I think half of Hanover is very random! :D

      Close-out stores buy product from stores that are going out of business and resell it cheap. So it's no guarantee that close-out groceries would be past expiration ... but we've had enough bad experiences with my grandmother-in-law that I wouldn't take my chances!
  • (no subject) - yourlovingfeta
  • LOLOL!

    Yeah, we have some of these too... Buck's 5th Avenue Culinary Exotica is my all time fave!
    • Culinary exotica?! Yes, that's good! I guess it fits the rule that adding an "A" to the end of an English word makes it sound more ... well, exotica. :D
  • Candynut Shoppe: Chocolates, Nuts, and Electric Shaver Parts.

    *blinks* Brain won't go there. Need my bed.
    *leaves giggling*
    • I know! It's hard to comprehend! I mean, who thinks, "I want to start a candy shop, but I don't think I'll make enough money, so I'll also sell ... electric shaver parts?!" Wow!
  • Clearly, this is a town that I must visit during my lifetime.
    • Yes, Hanover is definitely a good place for those with a keen eye and an odd sense of humor. I'm usually laughing uproariously half the time we're driving through!
  • (no subject) -
    • Not sure I want a fusion of Italian and Mexican, that sounds really gnarly.

      Gnarly is the perfect word for it! :D When I was a kid, my mom once tried to save refrigerator space by combining leftover Spanish rice in the same Tupperware container as leftover cheese ravioli in marinara sauce. The flavors mixed, and it was disgusting. So yes ... gnarly! >:^P

      That's like having a doctor with the last name of Bucher or something, eek!

      Lol! An RL friend of mine, growing up, had a dentist in his neighborhood whose name was Dr. Payne. It sounds terrible, like something out of a horror movie! "Come along, children, it's time to go see Dr. Payne! Mwahahaha!"

      I wonder how many little old ladies went into the Hanover Spice Company, looking for things to use for their pies or whatever they're cooking, and got the shock of their life!

      Perhaps anticipating that, the display windows are covered in pink foil with scantily clad mannequins posed just behind it! Creepy! :D
  • 'Hot and Crusty' sounds like something that needs to be treated with antibiotics and reported to the state so they can do contact notification.

    Erm. I was once my base's officially designated STD doc while in the Air Force.

    Oh, and the Spice Company! Heee.
  • I don't know. Maybe you're missing out on something by not giving the Italian/Mexican fusion a try. ;-)

    I'm not sure I want to eat anything with shaver parts in it, though.

    And you're right, that's completely bizarre.

    Hmm... in the town where I live there's a shop that sells lingerie and school supplies.
  • Gah... chunky frappucinos. Not good!! Not good!!

    However, this post was hilarious.
    • They didn't taste spoiled but ... *shhhhhuddderrr*

      And I aim to convert the weirdest, funniest, and most bizarre moments of my life into entertainment for my flist, so yay! :D
  • I have to admit the Spice Company got me in. I found myself thinking "What in all the world Dawn thinks to be funny about a spice shop?" ... then I read the text. No words for that really. ;-P

    And chunky dairy stuff, ewww, that's gross! At least it doesn't seem to have caused any... unwanted consequences. ;) It reminds me of the one time my mother was making a salad and I wanted to try the mozzarella, only that it wasn't really good anymore... I spit it all out again it tasted that bad.

    It makes me think more of [...] some of our experiments with leaving food under the heat lamp all night to see what would happen.

    Dawn, I'm having a bad impression of you now. Playing with food, really! ;-P

    I have to admit, as a non-native speaker I first wondered what's so strange about the word "crusty" when speaking about food. Then I read your examples and thought about the German equivalent ("krustig" means about the same and also wouldn't be used for food, though "Kruste" is often used for something crispy on top of food stuff and hasn't the gross ring to it either) and it became pretty clear to me... who knows, they were probably going for "crispy" or so... (would that be okay with food?). ;)
    • At least it doesn't seem to have caused any... unwanted consequences. ;)

      That is a good thing! We stopped drinking them pretty quickly since it was rather obvious that there was something wrong.

      Dawn, I'm having a bad impression of you now. Playing with food, really!

      Lol! Come on, it's the only way one can survive for eight to ten hours in a sweltering kitchen each day! ;) We used to have all sorts of fun. Leave burger patties on the grill all day to see what they looked like at the end. Trying to make fried ice cream in the deep fryer. Of course, I was the kitchen manager, so I was generally above these things ... *slow nod*

      I have to admit, as a non-native speaker I first wondered what's so strange about the word "crusty" when speaking about food.

      Yes, crusty is not a good food word, imho! Crispy would be great and is used for food all the time. Or flaky. Crusty, though, sounds symptomatic! :D

      Also, I think it's weird that they feel the need to state in the name of the restaurant that the food is hot. Shouldn't that be a given?? It's kind of disturbing when it's not, sort of like how our local KFC has a sign on the wall bragging, "100% Real Chicken!"
  • (dies)

    How have i missed these places...?
  • CPA Crooks is the best. He must be a distant relative of a bank manager here named DeFalco (which sounds like desfalco=embezzlement) or Dr Gatti, a vet on the radio who speaks about - what else - cats or an architect called Casas. I suppose Spanish lends itself to these ridiculous combinations more easily but we all seem to have a list of these to be produced when conversation gets boring.
    • Those are great! De[s]Falco is my favorite! Since a lot of English surnames actually began as people's professions, I suppose it's not so strange to have Carpenter work as a carpenter or Baker work in a restaurant.

      I did point out to Lady Roisin another one: Dr. Payne. The dentist. O.O Near my high school, there was also a dentist, Dr. Grill. Grill being a slang term for teeth, particularly gold teeth!
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