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Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

If I Could Only Be the Person Alex Thinks I Am....

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet

"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

If I Could Only Be the Person Alex Thinks I Am....

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alex say what
Okay, things have reached a new low for me. I stand in my kitchen, waiting for red beans and rice to cook, and write in my LiveJournal. The laptop--I have learned--sits quite nicely at Dawn-height on the counter. Wireless Internet is wonderful! And dangerous....

Bobby is out of the house for the night. Tonight, he finally starts his hockey referee classes. It was one of those deals that was supposed to start each week, and each week found a reason to push it back another week and so one. At 4:15, he had a skating test. At 7, the class itself began, so he figured--and I agreed--that there was really no point in him driving home from the rink only to drive back to the rink an hour later. So he and his teammate/buddy who is also taking the class are going out to dinner in between the test and the class.

Since Bobby is the chef in the House of Felagund (whereas Dawn is the maid and laundress), this means that I have to make dinner for myself. Horror! The experience tonight is red beans and rice and two Quorn "chicken" patties with barbeque sauce. Trust me, this is a lot for me! Usually, I buy a frozen Amy's dinner and make a salad.

However, it did allow me to discover how nicely Dawn-height the laptop is on the counter. I wonder if Bobby would be willing to switch household chores....

(Wholly kidding!)

I seem to have earned new regard from Alex. He just humped me for the first time a few minutes ago. He's been humping Bobby since we got him when he was only nine weeks old, and it is nothing to find Bobby cooking dinner in the kitchen and Alex just going to town on his leg. But he never--not once--humped me.

I am wondering if this newfound appreciation is because Bobby is not here or because I was stepping into Bobby's usual role of cooking dinner. Maybe I am just a good substitute for humping when Bobby is not here. Or maybe I have finally lived up to Alex's expectations of me as someone more than the mean lady who yells at him for getting on the coffee table and more often than Daddy is the one to stick him in time-out. (Even when it is Daddy's decision that he should go there!)

Anyway, Alex is happily mauling a stick that he brought in from outside. He's such a little retriever; no trip outside can be accomplished without bringing home a stick as a reward. And he carries it so proudly up the stairs, head held high. I try to mind, but he likes it so much, and it is such a small sin...most of the pieces are easily picked up and it does force me to vacuum with a more appropriate frequency.

Just one last note and I'll catch up on yesterday's comments: I doubt I'll be on LJ again until next week (except to quickly post "The Tapestries" tomorrow.) Bobby and I are attending a lecture on ocean conservancy by Jean-Michel Costeau tomorrow at the Aquarium. Being "unpaid staff" has its perks, namely that we get to go to these things for free! And we also attended a really nice catered party at the Aquarium on Saturday for unpaid staff, which was awesome, as if working with the animals is not rewarding in and of itself.

On Thursday, we are heading to Deep Creek Lake for my writing sabbatical (and Bobby's first attempt at snowboarding). I do not know the state of the Internet in the cabin; we probably have cable but I doubt that we'll have wireless, and I can no longer plug into the Internet since I gave the device that made that possible back to my dad when we got wireless. Even if we do have wireless, I'm trying to write without distraction, so at best, I'll keep an eye on SWG and that will be it.

So everyone take care of the Internet while I'm gone! Make sure it doesn't fall down and go boom! And take care of yourselves too and have a good weekend. :)
  • Aw, bad doggie! The rule of my house is no humping. Doggies get in big trouble for humping, though they haven't tried to hump any people for a long time now.

    I was about to ask you where the heck you find frozen vegetarian dinners, but then I realized that my freezer doesn't keep things frozen. :(

    Have a fund mini-vacation! I wanna know how the snowboarding goes, because -though I've never tried it- I think I might be better at it than skiing.
    • Snowboarding...didn't go. Because of the global warming unseasonably warm temperatures, all of the snow melted before we were there a day. When we left, the ski slopes were mud.

      The frozen veggie dinners that I buy, for the record, are from a company called Amy's. They make all sorts of Italian and Mexican entrees, and they're really, really good and easily cooked in the microwave or oven. A bit pricey, but organic veggie food usually is. They come with my highest recommendations. :)

      My freezer at work doesn't freeze either. I opened up a frozen pizza one day, and it was blue...with mold.

      Alex thinks it sucks that he wouldn't be allowed to hump in your house. But Alex doesn't know that his balls are going to be snip-snip-gone soon either!
      • As I've said a million times, you should come here then! We certainly didn't really feel those global warming effects this year, what with Teh Blizzard[s] and all.

        I'll have to keep that brand in mind, though I probably won't be buying any frozen things for awhile. Plus at home, I've found that I like to take a bag of frozen veggies and just sautee them. Which I can't do here. :(

        Typical boy mentality. But since usually my dogs hump as a dominance move, we just made a "no humping humans" rule. Hey, maybe you should take Finrod to the vet with you too!!! ;D
        • LMFAO! I thought after I posted the comment that I should write that I would be taking Finrod too!

          Finrod is back from "retreat," btw (did you know he was gone?) and says that he'll be calling Maedhros soon.

          On a serious note, I've wondered about Alex's humping, if he humps only Bobby because I'm regarded as more an alpha dog to him. 'Cause I'm meaner, and his Daddy tends to let him get away with things. Or maybe he's just gay.

          I also wanted to ask if the AKC still has the rule that neutered dogs can't compete in conformation. Not that I want to enter Alex in conformation, but I know that this was one of their controversial rules when I was still into dogs, when I was younger. Not like that, Finrod.

          *smacks Finrod*
    • GMTA! :D

      I had no idea that Finrod had wandered off, and I hesitate to ask where it was he went! ;) I'm not sure Maedhros is looking forward to Finrod's call...

      It's quite possible that Alex knows your alpha but isn't sure about Bobby. At this point, I'd doubt that he's gay. (Unless he humps Finrod?) ;)

      No, the AKC does not allow neutered dogs in conformation (since conformation is supposedly to show off your breeding stock, and neutered/spayed animals obviously can't be bred), except in Veterans classes (7 years and up).

      Finrod, that's just wrong. Go to the balcony.
      • To be fair to Alex, a lot of dogs hump Finrod, and not just the four-legged kind....

        I just remember the AKC thing being a big deal in animal rights circles like, "OMG don't support the AKC they contribute to pet overpopulation problem!!1one!1!!" Because people who take the time to show their dogs in conformation are the ones dropping off litters at the pound, but I digress.... /sarcasm

        Interestingly, PETA once threw blood on people going into the Aquarium. Wonder if that will happen to me. I bet they don't throw blood on Bobby, though! :^P
        • LOL! That is true. Apologies to Alex for implying that he was that kind of dog. ;)

          Hmm, that's really weird logic! I think people need to give money to the AKC Juniors Scholarship fund, because one of the criteria is educational outreach. And I need moneys.

          PETA is crazy. You know that commercial "Great cheese comes from happy cows. Happy cows come from California."? They apparently sued because cows in California aren't happy, or something. O.o
          • Yeah, PETA is speshul. I was a member for a year, until I realized that our philosophies were a bit...erm, different. Lets see, I can volunteer to work with animals at an organization that educates the public about conservation issues...or I can get naked and chain myself to a fur store. Hmmm....
    • As far as I know, the AKC only allows neutered dogs and bitches to compete in Veterans' Sweepstakes at independant breed Specialty Shows, and in Junior Handler classes at any show.

      It would be nice if one could show neutered dogs in conformation; but considering how long it takes to judge all the intact dogs in one day at most shows, I doubt the rules would ever change.

      Of course, there's also Obedience, Tracking, Agility, Flyball, Freestyle, etc., all of which are open to neutered dogs.

      Alex is seriously cute, btw!
      • Thank you! :^D

        I doubt I'd ever even show Alex in conformation. I was just curious because in my youth, I was active with regard to animal rights, and I recall that the AKC was always vilified for their stance on neutered dogs in conformation shows. That it is a practical matter (to keep shows limited to "breeding stock," as Tarion also mentions further down this thread) was never mentioned, but that makes sense to me!

        We hope to compete in obedience and agility; we've made good progress with the obedience so far, and I'll look into an agility club as soon as the weather warms up.

        Is that your doggie in the icon?
        • The other icon photo is my late oldest dog; who died when he was nearly 16 - the picture was taken when he was about 12, I think. This photo of another dog of the same breed who strongly resembles my now-oldest dog, my Jenny.

          Alex is better looking at four months than he was at nine weeks; he's gonna be a handsome fellow when he matures!

          Goldens are natural Obedience dogs; they have a lovely desire to please the human race (as opposed to Springers, who don't give a darn about the human race, just their own people, thank you).

          Agility will be great for Alex, but you need to take it slow - he shouldn't be doing the full routine until he's two years and has had his hips checked. He could start classes when he's a year and skip some of the jumps, though. But I'm not an expert - talk to other Agility people who have Goldens...Obedience is good to do in the meantime; so he'll be able to do a quick Down on the table for Agility...

          One of the original purposes of dog shows was indeed to judge the fitness of various purebreds to reproduce, and many breeders still won't breed a dog or bitch who doesn't have a conformation championship. However, I think the humans are far more passionate about it than the dogs, LOL. And many of the male champions will never be bred, though I assume that a larger percentage of champion bitches will indeed become mothers (if only for the fact that their owners usually have reproduction in mind when they make the decision to let the bitches go through the several heats between puppyhood and maturity).
          • Both icons are beautiful! What a lovely breed!

            Alex is beginning to actually have some proportion; for a while, he was all legs and huge feet! Now his body is catching up with the rest of him...and he's growing his feathers! I squee over them pretty much every night.

            I was reading up on agility, and it recommended pretty much what you're saying: to avoid jumping until the vet clears him. It recommended that he could start on contact obstacles and other random stuff (weave poles, wait tables, and the like); still, we'll definitely talk to his vet before starting anything. Here I worry about having him jump out of the car on his own, lest he hurt himself!
  • Take care and have a good time! I'll miss you. :-)
    • I did, thank you! :) And I missed you all too. *hugs* I just need to find a way that you all can come on all my trips with me.... ;)
  • That was a genuine milestone: You have been officially humpified by Alex!

    Enjoy the lecture of the famous Jean-Michel Costeau and come back whole from your snowboarding fun :) We'll defend the ford for you ;)
  • Have fun!
  • My friend has a tomcat who started to shag her empty water bottles when he reached that age. Not he's neutered, mwahaha. But I guess that's not really done with dogs, is it? ;)
    • What, neutering? Or humping? :)

      Alex is getting neutered pretty soon. (Sorry, Alex.) But humping is also a dominance thing; even female dogs hump!

      Kind of like some of my Elves....
      • Alex is getting neutered pretty soon. (Sorry, Alex.)

        Ah, see, I didn't know if this was commonly done to dogs. I know that it's common with cats because otherwise you'll have your tom-cat running around impregnating every female kitty in the vicinity. ;-P
  • Also, about the cooking thing: I started to cook 'properly' every evening about two years or so ago, and I tell you it's addicting. It has the disadvantage, though, that I'm not really satisfied to warm up something when I have no time anymore. That usually means stuff like me cooking Tortelloni with a Napoli tomato sauce at 10 am... ;-P

    And have fun!! (Even if this comes too late now...)
    • We did have fun! Thank you! :^D

      I think I ruined myself for cooking by working as a cook at such a young age. After twelve hours in the kitchen, the last thing I wanted was to come home and do it again!

      I'm lucky that I have a husband who's a good cook...and likes it. ;)
      • I think I ruined myself for cooking by working as a cook at such a young age.

        Ahhh, I didn't think of that. And I totally understand why this might spoil cooking for you. It's like writing a paper about something you really, really like, and after some weeks of working on it you can't see that friggin thing anymore... ;)
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