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Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

Well, Our Christmas Shopping Is Half-Finished....

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet

"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

Well, Our Christmas Shopping Is Half-Finished....

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tiki hut
Yes, you read that correctly. Last night, Bobby and I officially began--and finished--half of our Christmas shopping.

Picture it: Dawn sitting at the desk, painting Meryth's cloak in a color called Goblin Green; Bobby sitting on the couch with his laptop surfing SCUBA sites. Now Bobby and I had made an agreement that Christmas this year is not going to be the exorbitant affair of years past. It has always been my philosophy that holiday monies are best spent doing things that will be memorable in years to come rather than buying junk that will be under the bed and forgotten by the New Year. Anyway, at last, I got Bobby to agree. Since we decided to pursue this whole underwater-as-a-hobby-and-career thing, we have been eyeing up a camera called the SeaLife camera, which is a top-of-the-line digital camera that functions both above- and underwater. We decided that rather than driving ourselves--and each other--nuts with piles of unneeded gifts this year, we would split the cost of the SeaLife camera, which we will both use and enjoy.

The SeaLife camera with all things included--including the strobe--costs (hold on to your seats, misers) $999. Yes, one of those "if I end it with a nine then no one will notice how dear it is." Harumph. You can buy the camera by itself for just over $500.

Returning to our happy picture of Dawn with green-painted lips (from licking my brushes all of the time; that detail in AMC does not come from nowhere) and Bobby surfing using the latest in Internet technology, Bobby suddenly blurts out, "Oh my god, I just found our SeaLife on sale on scuba.com--the whole package, strobe and all--for $500."

Silence falls.

"That's pretty cool," Dawn says, after verifying that the usual price is in fact about a grand, and goes back to painting Meryth's cloak--and her lips--a nice even Goblin Green.

More silence but one with a vivid imagination can hear the wheels turning in the House of Felagund.

"Soooo..." says Dawn.

(Now, just as background, Dawn is the Official Skinflint, Cheapo, Miser, and Tightwad of the House of Felagund. Bobby has to put her back in line all the time. Just the other night, at the movies, Dawn wanted a soda and realized that she had forgotten her coupon for a free one. "Oh, well," she said. "There's always next time." "Dawn!" Bobby shouted. "You can still get a soda!" "But it's four dollars for a medium....")

"Soooo..." says Dawn the Penurious again. Bobby gives her a careful look. "Are you going to get it?"

"I don't know," says Bobby, who has had enough ill-fated run-ins with his miserly wife to have learned to ask, "What do you think?"

"Well," says Dawn, "if we think of it logically, it seems foolish to wait three months and pay $400 more for something that we want to get anyway."

"True," Bobby agrees.

"We can put it on the credit card and pay it off when we set aside money for Christmas. And we can even keep it at one of the parents' houses so that we're not tempted to use it until Christmas. Then it will feel like we got it then anyway."

"True," Bobby agrees, and silence falls again. A few minutes later: "Soooo...should I order it?"

Now what do you think the outcome was?

(Though perhaps in honor of her penny-pinching forefathers, Dawn did advice to wait to add the $60 wide-angle lens until a later time.)
  • Ooooh...you are evol! Is this a hint that you would like me to send you the whole story, in all its unedited glory?

    Me: Yes, please.

    Erestor: Don’t do it, Ms. Felagund. She must learn patience and control and await the outcome with the rest. Did you know this devious child used to peek at all her Christmas presents *glowers menacingly at exposed peeker* – and still does. She is undeserving of your generous gift.

    Me: Crap! *pushes him in the closet*

    Glorfindel: Now, now, we don’t want him back in there. *pulls him out, dusts him off, hands lingering...* I would like to read the story of your early life, Erestor. Must we wait?

    Erestor: The story is about me?!? Well, of course, I could at the very least help proofread it.

    Me: *rolls eyes* Dawn, thank you, but I think I will wait with the others. if he gets his hands on the story, it will no doubt be censored of anything drool worthy. You should have seen what he did to the copy of LaCE that he found in Gondor.

    • LMAO! So Erestor is to blame for the travesty that is LaCE? I think I like that idea best of any that I've heard yet.

      And I'm proud of you for resisting my temptation. Chapters will continue to appear Sometime Thursday Evening. In the meantime, I'm hoping that no one else stumbles upon this post and tries to take up my offer, as sharing my unedited writing is soooo painful.... ;)
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