On This Balmy January Day ...
Remember, folks, that global warming is a hoax created by liberal scientists with, of course, the help of the liberal [gotcha] media. In fact, if I had set up a video camera outside last night, I bet I would have seen some clandestine climatologist fiddling with the car thermometer while Bobby, the Goldens, and I slumbered naively. Really, it was about 40F today. But why did it feel like 70F? (I couldn't keep the students out of the damn door today, not that I could blame them.) Why, because brainwashing embedded in liberal print and television media has cleverly convinced you that it is actually warm outside when, in fact, it's pretty cold. That's how that works, if you were wondering.
It's raining like crazy right now and thunderstorms are predicted for later tonight. Thunderstorms! (Actually, it's Jesus bowling with the angels in Heaven, but that damned liberal media has also brainwashed us all to think it's thunder and treat it as a weather anomaly rather that a proper celebratory occasion.)
My legs and feet hurt like hell right now. The school got its money's worth out of me today. All of my classes were firing on all cylinders (which happens less often than Jesus bowling with the angels in Heaven!), and so I was on my feet all day, running around like a goof, being properly erudite and entertaining. Last period, during the twerps' class, it must have sounded like a small riot was going on in my room, but we were actually doing a cooperative activity about indirect characterization. It was fun, albeit noisy. It was the twerps, so there was scuffling for a place at the board and much outshouting of each other. I also discovered that one of my 9th graders--ADHD and presently off his meds--reacts like a cat to a flashlight beam when I shine my laser pointer on the floor. By last period, yes, yes, I will admit that on at least two occasions I used that to keep him semi-focused.
Tomorrow morning, the seniors are watching a documentary about King Arthur and the 10th graders are going to do at least a little independent work, so the Ms.-W-T-tap-dance-for-the-students routine is going to be somewhat turned down. Maybe I'll do a nice, soft, interpretive dance routine instead. (Hey, I do act out vocabulary words sometimes.) For the afternoon classes, all bets are off. They're my most energetic groups, and a lot of times, it's tap-dance routine or get-trampled-like-a-scatter-rug-in-an-el
Okay, the weather alarm just went off ... we're under a tornado watch in Carroll County. I'll let y'all figure out the conspiracy theory behind that one. I'm beat.
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