?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

Fanpome: "Seven Falls"

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet




"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

Fanpome: "Seven Falls"

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
noldolante
The following Silmarillion-inspired poem (fanpome?) was written for the quote of the month on the Silmarillion Writers' Guild: Melkor and Finwë battle in Formenos after the Darkening of Valinor.

The form is a sestina, which originated in the 12th-century with the French troubadours. The sestina uses six six-line stanzas plus a triad at the end. The end-words of each line rotates between stanzas, and the triad includes all six end-words. The form is more complicated than that, but if you want to know more, that's what Wikipedia is for. :)

Comments--both praise and critique--here or on the SWG are welcome!

On SWG, the poem is rated Teens for violence.


But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.

Fall seven times.
Stand up eight.

Ah, with such vigor you pronounce my fall!
Lift your eyes and vow to drive me into dark!
You strike me low and I am slow to rise;
I let your eyes linger long on my blood.
Deep within you this delusion I plant:
Slain I may be by a faint-hearted king!

But what a noble beneficent king!
You believe that yet? Oh, so far to fall!
By fastidious workings, I did plant
In your people's hearts desire for the dark,
Feral, forgott'n lust for the taste of blood.
Dare strike me again! Laughing, I will rise.

In Fëanor's heart, already did I rise;
In Fingolfin's too, fair Noldorin king.
My name pounds in your gentle last-born's blood!
Till I am needless to fulfill your fall
(But how I want to watch your eyes go dark!)
As brother fights brother to brother supplant.

Remember how Yavanna did trees plant
That, on the horizon, made pale light rise?
See now: the horizon roils with dark!
Think you such power shall be quell'd by a king
Whose full might it takes to bring my fourth fall?
Whose bubbling breaths bring the taste of his blood?

In whom fatigue moans with each beat of his blood?
Teeth bared with joy, loosely my feet I plant,
Intentionally, let him force my fall.
Intentionally, even faster I rise!
Till certainty dims the eyes of the king;
Extinguish'd their light with hastening dark.

Our shadows strive against deepening dark
Till I fall the sixth time, slipped in his blood
And rise, laughing, to hear the curse of the king:
"No growing things can your barren hands plant.
Nothing alive from you ever will rise."
Swing, little king! I am waiting to fall!

At my seventh fall, I rise, reap the dark
From a seed fed with lies and blood. I RISE!
Plant my sword in the body of a king.

  • *shivers*

    Morgoth's point of view...that was brave of you. There is a foretaste of his battle with Fingolfin here. His bragging, his desire to see despair and death in Finwe's face...and the inevibility of his win all strikes the right note.

    He has not learned fear yet; I suppose Ungoliant will teach it to him momentarily.
    • You know, it never occurred to me that Morgoth's PoV is not usually done and, yes, definitely intimidating! :D I'm not fond of the saying that something "wrote itself," but this sestina nearly did so. It wouldn't have anything but Morgoth's PoV!

      I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I didn't notice the connection with Fingolfin. ._. I've always had in my mind that Finwe and Morgorth had a terrible fight in Feanor's house in Formenos where both fell many times but Morgoth one less. I wrote a ficlet series about this a couple of years ago, though there, Morgoth only falls five times. (Might have to revise that since I'm contradicting my own verse now! Well, I guess I'm just carrying on JRRT's great tradition of the same. ;)

      Thank you for reading and for the comment! :D
  • Very elegant! I'm impressed that you took on the sestina form; it requires even more careful planning than a sonnet, but you made it work well for you.
    • Thank you! I might be odd, but I find sestinas less intimidating than sonnets, possibly because they're longer and ... well, you know, I have an issue with keeping things brief. ;)

      Or maybe because writers like Shakespeare mastered the sonnet whereas most (modern) sestinas don't do much for me.
  • That poem was mezmerising!
    I never thought I´d see a poem from Morgoth´s point of view.

    Really REALLY well done! I wouldn´t mind sharing this poem with my other Tolkien friends, you now.
    Could I...?
    • Yes, apparently Morgoth's PoV is an oddity! :D I hadn't even thought of it, honestly, when writing this. As I told mithluin, the poem just wanted to be written, and it wouldn't take a PoV other than Morgoth's. So I didn't give much thought to writing poetry from the PoV of the Dark Lord!

      And, yes, I would be honored if you wished to share the poem with others! Please feel free to do so, with my blessing. :) Thank you!
Powered by LiveJournal.com