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Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

The "What Have You Done in Middle-earth" Meme! Stoled from satismagic

The (Cyber) Bag of Weasels

bread and puppet




"About as much fun as a bag of weasels"...when I first saw this Irish adage, it made me think of the life of a writer: sometimes perilous, sometimes painful, certainly interesting. My paper journal has always been called "The Bag of Weasels." This is the Bag of Weasels' online home.

The "What Have You Done in Middle-earth" Meme! Stoled from satismagic

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a friend you haven't met
This meme was adapted by satismagic and a bunch of other fannish folks here. I am going to modify it a little further. I am assuming that having "done something" in Middle-earth means having written about it, so instead of simply putting what I've done in boldface, I am going to link to the story where I did it. In bold, I will put those things that I hope to still yet do.

001. Been the eye of Doom.
002. Eaten whole fish raw.
003. Had a throwdown with a Balrog.
004. Worn the One Ring for longer than a day.
005. Played poker with black riders.
006. Sung A Hymn To Elbereth Gilthoniel.
007. In Rivendell.
008. Drunk.
009. Sailed into the West.
010. Stayed in Middle-earth.
011. Got drunk in the Prancing Pony.
012. Got drunk in the Forsaken Inn.
013. Got drunk in the Laughing Oliphaunt.
014. Helped Legolas braid his hair.
016. Helped Galadriel braid her hair.
017. Helped Gandalf braid his beard.
018. Visited some caves with Gimli.
019. Exchanged recipes for Spaghetti Napoli with Denethor.
020. Handed out S.P.E.W. buttons at the Council of Elrond.
021. Knitted sweaters for Elrohir and Elladan with a G and an F on the front.
022. Smoked a pipe with Gandalf.
023. Added something to the tobacco.
024. Given Sam tips on what weed to grow in his garden.
025. Danced on tables in the Prancing Pony.
026. Taken a hike through the Old Forest.
027. Arranged for Old Man Willow to become a penpal of the Whomping Willow.
028. Put Tom Bombadil in touch with Ralf Siegel.
029. Gone rafting on the Bruinen.
030. Had a sword with a name that consisted of more than two syllables.
031. More than three syllables.
032. More than four syllables.
033. And used it.
034. To twist your enemy’s tongue.
035. To kill him.
036. Lost a golden silver ring.
037. Found a golden silver ring.
038. Found a strangely beautiful jewel.
039. Lost a strangely beautiful jewel.
040. Had plastic surgery for pointy ears.
041. Had plastic surgery to remove pointy ears.
044. Sold shampoo to Elves.
045. Invented a special line of shampoo that smells and tastes like strawberries.
046. Learnt Quenya.
047. Learnt Sindarin.
048. Learnt Westron.
049. Learnt French.
050. Kissed an Elf.
051. Kissed two Elves.
052. At the same time.
053. Kissed an Orc.
054. Organised some fancy fireworks.
055. Discussed the culture of Anglo-Saxon riddle poems with a dragon.
056. Walked away alive.
057. Talked a troll to death.
059. Had a BBQ on Weathertop Hill.
060. Hiked to all seven beacon hills of Gondor.
061. Gotten drunk on wine from Dorwinion.
062. Picked niphredil and elanor in Lórien.
063. Looked into Galadriel’s mirror.
064. And seen yourself wearing a pair of ridiculous hand-knitted socks in it.
065. And wearing nothing else?
066. Danced around the party tree.
067. Ridden a Fell Beast.
068. Fell off a Fell Beast.
069. Gone skinny-dipping in the Anduin.
070. With Boromir.
071. With Faramir.
072. With both of them.
073. Learnt all of Aragorn’s names by heart.
074. Sold a nice set of silver cutlery to Lobelia Sackville-Baggins.
075. Without spoons.
076. Helped out Sam in his garden.
077. Looked into a palantir.
078. Went to Moria.
079. Made it out of Moria.
080. Ridden some horses in Rohan.
081. Ridden some horse-lords in Rohan.
082. Explored the ruins of Annûminas.
083. Graduated summa cum laude from the University of Middle-earth.
084. Learnt the hat-trick.
085. Played it with Gandalf.
086. Played it with Dumbledore.
087. Refused to show it to Salazar Slytherin.
088. Swam in the Lake of Evendim.
089. Sailed to the island of Himling.
090. Partied with Fëanor and his brothers.
091. Met the Lossoth of Forochel.
092. Done an anthropological field study on the Drúedain.
093. Thrown a palantîr into the Bay of Forochel.
094. Retrieved a palantîr from the bottom of the Bay of Forochel.
095. Sent Sauron the Evil Overlord List.
096. Organised a Dark Lord Exchange Programme.
097. Successfully.
098. Cut down a tree in Fangorn.
099. Been cut down by a tree in Fangorn.
100. Taught the Dark Lord chat speak via palantîr.
101. Teased Dunlendings.
102. Bred Uruk-hai.
103. Created a natural preserve for arachnids in Mirkwood.
104. Invited Aragog.
105. Sold “Weißer Riese” (”White Giant”) detergent to Saruman.
106. Gone barreling in the Forest River.
107. Crashed a party in the caves of Mirkwood.
108. Had elvenses with the Hobbits.
109. Watered the seedling of the White Tree.
110. Been kidnapped by the pirates of Umbar.
111. Passed through the Paths of the Dead.
112. Without pissing yourself.
113. Visited Dol Amroth.
114. Wandered where the stars are strange.
115. Ridden a Mûmak.
116. Ridden an Oliphaunt.
117. That’s the same thing, idiot.
118. Been rescued by a giant eagle from a burning tree.
119. From a volcano.
120. Cuddled Queen Beruthiel’s cats.
121. Done a midnight tour of all seven Circles of Minas Tirith.
122. Until the rum was gone.
123. Gotten Ioreth to shut up.
124. Opened a pub called the “Dirty Duck” in Dol Amroth.
125. Made Aragorn take a bath.
126. Joined him in the tub.
127. Helped Legolas squeeze a zit.
128. Helped him squeeze something else.
129. Won a drinking game with Éomer.
130. With Gimli.
131. With Legolas.
132. Run 36 miles a day through Rohan.
133. Run 37 miles a day through Rohan.
134. Run 38 miles a day through Rohan.
135. Really.
136. Without a jeep.
137. Sang silly songs in Imladris.
138. Dead sober.
139. Drunk.
140. For dwarves.
141. Just because.
142. Shared a drink with Treebeard.
143. Lost a finger.
144. Lost a hand.
145. Taught a tongue twister to an ent.
146. Sat on the throne of Gondor.
147. Tried on that ugly crown.
148. Stolen a jewel from Smaug’s hoard.
149. Helped Gandalf with his fireworks.
150. Convinced Elrond that ten walkers have a much better chance than nine.
151. Whipped an orc.
152. Been whipped by an orc.
153. Enjoyed it.
154. Got stuffed on Lembas.
155. Puked because of that.
156. Gone to Mordor.
157. Came back alive.
158. With ten fingers.
159. Painted the Grey Havens.
160. Spent a Sunday in the Mathom-house in Michel Delving.
161. Taken a bath in the Enchanted River.
162. Made a ring of your own.
163. Sent an Owl to Beorn.
164. Sent an Owl to Hagrid.
165. Got invited to the wedding.
166. Gone skiing on the Caradhras.
167. Had a broken neck healed with Athelas.
168. Smoked Athelas.
169. Made plans to put Viagra out of business with Athelas.
170. Scared Nazgûl with a squirt gun.
171. Scared Nuzgûl with a squirt gun.
173. Went skinny-dipping with a Nazgul.
174. Arranged a blind date between the Witch King of Angmar and Éowyn.
175. Made Sushi for Gollum.
176. Made Sushi for Aragorn.
177. Arranged therapy for Gollum.
178. Arranged therapy for Aragorn.
179. Stalked Haldir and Celeborn on a hunting trip.
180. Passed the blueprints of an iPod on to Celebrimbor.
181. Shaved Cîrdan’s beard.
182. Sold copies of “Ansereg” to Elladan and Elrohir.
183. Stolen a fruit from Nimloth.
184. Drowned Númenor.
185. Bent the earth.
186. Sold light bulbs in Aman.
187. Broken a sword.
188. Mended it again.
189. Crossed the Helcaraxë.
190. Sailed the seas of heaven.
191. Read “The Laws and Customs of the Eldar”.
192. Understood it.
193. Ignored it.
194. Tested that theory.
195. *smirks*
196. Milked the kine of Rhûn.
197. Surfed the Bay of Belfalas.
198. Mined Mithril.
199. Discovered the Pelargir Stingray. (f)
200. Solved the energy problems of the UK for the next century by hooking up Tolkien’s grave.

Methinks we need one for The Silmarillion too. Anyone have any ideas? >:^)))
  • That is nothing short of hilarious. :) I don’t think I’m creative enough to write a Silm one, but someone certainly should.
  • Very interesting. My favorite: 182. Sold copies of “Ansereg” to Elladan and Elrohir. Runner up: 168. Smoked Athelas. (Apparently, my misspent youth is catching up with me here.) And Honorable Mention: 154. Got stuffed on Lembas.
    155. Puked because of that.


    A Silmarillion one would be great. I'm dying to take a shot at it, but have a novella to finish today that I wrote for a swap fic in less than two weeks (talk about stupid).

    Maybe someone wants to organize a joint-venture. People contribute points until there is a good-sized collection. (If anyone does, let me make fun of the Children of Hurin scenario. I've just about had it with that tale in the last six months.)


  • I've read this one at Juno's first, giggling all along, too bad that I decided not to post mine just yet (RL stuff). No I am just so curious as to whom you sold that lightbulb. So behind on reading (says she with a smile). :)
  • Funny

    Loved:

    030. Had a sword with a name that consisted of more than two syllables.
    031. More than three syllables.
    032. More than four syllables.
    033. And used it.
    034. To twist your enemy’s tongue.
    035. To kill him.

    081. Ridden some horse-lords in Rohan.
  • Idea for Silmarillion list

    Hey, how about this: "When the Muses Move In", which will list down what happens when seven gorgeous Noldor move in with a Sil junkie? (I know you said Silmarillion, not just Feanorian, but what can I do? I'm hopeless...)
    Example:
    1) Tyelkormo does some motivational "talk" to my virgin male poodle, in "dog" language
    2) And taught Choochoo to "wolf-whistle"
    3) Now Choochoo is a "bitch's dog" (equivalent of a lady's man)
    4) And has sired several litters of pups throughout our neighborhood
    5) Thereby making me a "grandmother" at the tender age of 33.
    6) Thank goodness there's no such thing as "pup support"
    7) Not yet anyway. Have to move out. Soon.
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